Happy Birthday?

 I don't feel like myself today. Was busy throughout the day. But can't blame and whine more. Since we were celebrating my son's and mom's birthday (son's birthday is on 6th and mom's today.) I chose and decided to have a double celebration since in need to reduce cost of buying food and also I do need to save some energy for myself (pity for my body.)

Oh, why do I need to 'pity' myself? Ever since I met this masseuse, a local one ages a year older than me, she told me that my body is 'jarih'. And it's not a good thing to hear. I'm afraid if I ignore this kind of reminder, I prone to be more ill than I should (not).

People who doesn't go through what I am going, they (or you) will never understand the endless chores you have to deal with. As I am mentioning before (to I don't know who), I don't mind working endlessly or even a day without a single break staying in the kitchen if I'm still single. But now that I'm married and also a mother to the 3 kids, it's hard for me to juggle things up. I've tasks in the room; kids always mess the room, then the laundry never fail to bother me; clothes need to be washed and cleaned and folded and........ ironed. Still surroundings never cooperate with my struggle. Or I would say, endless struggle.

I have 4 kids what 😑 (haha just 3 to be precise). But I will still serve my husband's things like my kids hahaha.. (Sorry husband, at least you're not invisible yet not invincible too).

I've been thinking a lot about when will we eventually move out. And when the time comes, will I be ready for it?

...............................

And deep thoughts arose.

Yes we do have to move out. The rooms are packed with our stuff. Like I don't know where snd where to put this and this. Even harder to get rid of it when you still need it in the future. It's not that I'm not certain about our 'rezeki' in the future. But buying new things would cost a lot. Am I right?

It's not easy for a housemom like me, to sort my future finance when you still depend on your parents to keep you alive (and sane). No matter how many times you plan to keep and save, it's still tough. Your kids are growing and they are schooling. They need a dollar everyday they go to school to sate their appetite. 

Even harder for me, when I want to be in control with my kids but these chores bother me. So I let them grow individually, follow with prayers. I envy other moms who can guide and teach and spend a lot of their time with their kids. While I can't. I mean I do can, çause I am always at home. But at home, busy?

What do you expect?

Anyway, all these bad days will pass. And all these nonsense would just be a blow of wind hitting your cheek.

Guys, I miss Russell Lee. 😭 I don't even have time to read books anymore.

Taraa for now. It's weekend.